Pass the Time

Today is Thursday. Tomorrow will be the 4th of July and me and Jeff will be off work. Good day to sleep in. I have alot of admiration for this sleep. It is nice to have no plans for the day and just get up when you feel like it. ummmm....nothing else makes me happier. Seriously.

This week I have been surfing the web, as usual, looking for information to occupy my time waiting. I look at the same stuff typically, unless I come across something good. I stop off at my blog first, see if anyone else wrote something new, particularly Melissia's blog, which quite frankly cracks me up. Then I scurry off to adoption.com and check out the new threads. If nothing good or after I have read what I want I check out the soulcysters.net and look up the adoption option thread. Usually not too much buzz going on in there so I check my bank info, maybe post something myself maybe work a bit, since I am at work and then go back to adoption.com and check out the millions of old posts hoping to get some insite.

Now this week has been quite entertaining on adoption.com. There is one thread I have been scoping out with all these foster people vs. adoption people blasting each other out of the water with their rhetoric of life experiences and opinions of the way "it should be" and awhole lot of this "---" business as well. Makes me laugh. But it also makes you think about all this earth moving questions in regard to "family" and views of foster families and adopted families.

For instance one poster states

"Robin, I think you are misinterpreting "Not being agreed with" with "not being heard". We HEAR you just fine- but I, for one, don't agree. And I reallly DO think the "try before you buy" thing is rude and insulting. You DID say you've heard it right here on this site, but have not given evidence to support that. Furthermore, the situation you describe in this post doesn't fit that either. The foster parents in your son's situation don't sound like they were "tire kicking" - intentionally taking a child with the view of deciding whether or not they wanted to keep him!. It sounds like they went in with the intention of reunification, and then changed their minds for whatever reason - whether it be because they saw things in the bio family that concerned them, or just because they lost their judgement. Either way, they do NOT appear to have been treating the child as "disposable" which is certainly the implication in "try before you buy". And I'm not necessarily agreeing with their point of view either - obviously the judge prevailed in your case. Mind you, if what I'm *hearing* here came across to them, they might have felt that you had a negative and condescending attitude toward foster parents. You do seem to be quoting peoples words out of context in this discussion in order to make your case....I don't see anywhere in the above poster's comment where she implies that bio families DON'T do all that. She was merely pointing out that foster parents DO all that without necessarily having an "agenda" which is what you seem to be accusing us of - again, painting whole group with a very broad brush.Personally, I will never, EVER, agree that a relative is better JUST because they are a relative. There has to be better reasons than that! And I stand by my opinion that all other factors being EQUAL, the child should stay with whomever they are bonded with. If you want me to put a time frame on it, than I'd say whoever they've spent the majority of their life with, since one year could be an entire lifetime to a baby, and only a small part of the big picture with an older child.ps - oh yes, you argue that foster parents have the option of sending a child "back" or refusing a placement in the first place. SO do kinship placements, so I really can't see why that point is relevant. No one, related or not, is ever "forced" to adopt a child, so the playing field is pretty level on that point."

OKAY SO after I finish reading posts like that I just want to write back,
"BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNED." LOL but I can't. Cause well, no one would take me seriously again.

But it DOES make you think about these people actually raising and molding young children's minds. WHAT ARE THESE PEOPLE THINKING?????

Well Just wanted to share.