Monday, June 30, 2008

A Butterflies Game

10-21-1997
I wrote this when I was 14. Being Foolish.

Away by the sea,
down on the ground,
lay a little blue bird
on the shadows of town.
Walking across that very same day
came a curious boy
who lived by the bay.
He looked at the ground
and picked up the bird.
But the bird just looked up
and said not a word.
"What happened to you?"
Asked the boy of the bird
"I was stabbed in the eye by a butterfly
and I cannot see to fly away,
so I lay here to die on the sand by the bay."
The boy then glanced up
and in the sky
A butterfly too stabbed him once in the eye
and he fell to the fround and there bled to death
because of a bitterflies deadly mischeif.
*** Moral-No one suspects a butterfly.***

Poem

09-23-2001
Conflict with myself
Soul vs Flesh



~I placed you up,
upon a pedistool.~
"Hush my child,
your safe in my arms tonight."
~I taught you face expressions that I conquered
through the years.~
"It's okay,
I'll hold you till the morning bright"
~I opened your cuts to heal your wounds,~
"Let me wipe your streaming tears."
~I'll break you with unearthly tools,
Touch your heart
and clear your fears.
I desired to drink of your emotion,
Be constant
to your hearts delite.
But you walked away
and left unspoken
the promise of your birth right.~

Poem

I wrote this poem on 09-10-2001. I read it now and although slighly embarrassed it reminds me of my desperation for love and connection. Its honest.


Pull you inside out,
Tear you apart,
Look into your thoughts,
disect your bleeding heart.
The light that shines from your soul,
Is losing all its shine.
Your eyes don't look brighter
But your insides look devine.
The more hours spent with you,
the faster you cut the wic.
What makes you smile, laugh and cry.
I still wonder what makes you tick.
Love is unconditional,
what I say may cause confusion,
trust me what you see,
is only an illusion.
Words never die,
memories never cease.
Emotions never change,
I can't hold what brings me peace.
Look into my soul,
touch my cold frail hand,
tell me you still love me,
step into forbidden lands.
I could fall into you all over again,
I could lose myself and sink,
All I need is a look,
A little wave,
A wink.

Poem

8-27-2002
I wrote this about my bio father shortly after he died.


He gave me the fear
So I gave him the cold shoulder.
Neither one of us got
what we wanted that day.
We both received nothing
birthed from the same tree.
And then we both died
with his last breathe of air.
All I wanted was to say,
"Hi, Hey, How you doing?"
All he wanted was to see me
to say he had cared.
When things are all over
we wish it was differently.
You know that never happens,
Life's not that fair.
So we keep on wishing
to get the pick of the litter.
To choose our own fate
and distany's course.
But we just get the scraps
and curse the food in our belly's.
We accomodate the hate
that we all tend to force.
He have me the fear,
I wish I had given him the finger.
Neither one of us said
what the other had thought.
If I coulda shoulda all the woulda's that day.
I still would be living with this bitter in my heart.

Poem

You came to me,
Your walk was stagger,
Still I welcomed you in with a single smile.
Music you brought,
Brung such laughter,
Moments later it fell away
with a breath full of life.
Expose your intentions
and then float away
like the dust in the sky.
I'll look with concern,
And make myself wonder.
Don't be suprized that I cry
if you die.
So many things have brought about change,
recognition of reasons
and mentions from high.
This on my cheek?
I'm not happy to see you,
I've only remembered
my feelings have died.
You reach out to me,
You touch my left finger.
The one that you loved
and held with all life.
Carress my emotions
and visit me soon,
I'll take off my shoes,
because your back's not that high.

Poem

Moments wonder by...
Drip into a filtered thought.
Waves of anger passing by
without an instant second thought.
Pour in the seeping liquid dry
The sand may last you all the while,
Time within will fade away...
...turn into a memory pile.
Touch your face and think of me...
...the heat will surely fade away.
Emotion may sustain for time
Mold the shape and melt the pain.
Revive the love that once held shine,
Shades of green is what you'll gain.

Poem

I wrote this poem back in 2000.
Cry, the inside of your face is still wet.
Laugh, I will still be around to endure the pain.
I love more than I can ever show.
Love should never have conditions.
Nothing is silent.
Everything is so hazy in the morning
Your first breathe of air may sufice
for the rest of forever.
Connect the joints and stay with me always
Light bleeds on my open heart
Pumping all disfigured memories
of hate and transgressions.
Kings live on,
and beyond that bent stream of conscienceness
I will knight you with red and yellow lines.
Peer into the deep
Steer away from all things unknowing
Sometimes we don't take things in as well.
You achnoweldged your feelings too late
Watch me change and hope you never have to
fill your hands again.
Blend apart from self pity and pleasure
This leasure time is what you must use
to tear what you had apart
I have no desire to heel
Pure intentions will set you in motion
I know we fit
because I saw us fall apart together
we trickled like the vibrations of communication.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Found this, Thought is was awesome!

Kelly Alexander reports in American Baby:
In the year 2000 alone, about 460,000 American babies were born too soon -- that is, before 37 weeks gestation. Premature births have always been a concern, but the problem is taking on more urgency because the percentage of premature births is rising -- from 9.4 percent in 1981 to 11.6 in 2000, a 23 percent increase.
"Premature birth is one of the great medical mysteries," says Marie McCormick, MD, professor of maternal and child health at Harvard Medical School. "There just doesn't seem to be one single cause. And what makes the mystery particularly hard to solve is that no one knows exactly what triggers normal labor and delivery. It's shocking but true -- we don't fully understand the complex biological mechanisms that start the baby's journey down the birth canal."
Of course, modern medicine has many success stories, and one of them is the ability to save babies at increasingly earlier ages. Part of the reason for the rise in premature births is that babies who might have been stillborn in the recent past are now being delivered alive. A decade ago, the age of viability was around 28 weeks. Today, about half of babies born at 24 weeks survive.
And Jane Brody of The Boston Globe writes, "At the same time, neonatal care has improved to where the lives of many of the tiniest babies, some born after only 23 weeks in the womb, can now be saved." (June 27, 2006)
Nigel Hawkes, Science Editor for The Times writes, "An aborted baby survived for 80 minutes while hospital staff waited for it to die, a coroner's court in Darwin, Australia, was told yesterday. The baby was unexpectedly born alive after birth was induced between 21 and 22 weeks of gestation. Greg Cavanagh, the coroner, said that there was a "responsibility vacuum." He accepted that the baby was not going to live because of its prematurity, but said that the nurse on duty faced a "moral dilemma." In the end she simply covered it, made it as comfortable as possible and waited for it to die. Such incidents are by no means unknown in Britain. Last year a baby was aborted at Birmingham City Hospital at just short of 23 weeks' gestation because tests had shown that he would have Down's syndrome. He lived for two hours."

"Every person has the right to choose. It's unfair to restrict a woman's choice by prohibiting abortion." So say the prochoice advocates. So says a generation that has grown up immersed in an ocean of abortion-rights thinking. In a society controlled by bumper-sticker slogans, what can be said in response to the fact that opposition to abortion is routinely framed as opposition to "a woman's right to choose"? When I present the prolife position on college campuses, I often begin by saying:
"I've been introduced as being anti-abortion, but I want to make clear that I'm really prochoice. I believe a person has the right to do whatever she wants with her own body. It's none of our business what choices she makes. We have no right to impose our morals on others. Whether I like someone's choices or not is irrelevant. She should have the freedom to make her own choices."
I'm normally greeted by surprised looks and audible affirmation, including smiles, nods, and even applause. I have used the sacred buzzwords of the prochoice movementrights, freedom, and choice. I have sounded tolerant, open-minded, and fair. Then, having won over my audience, without warning I say this:
"Yes, I'm prochoice. That's why I believe every man has the right to rape a woman if that is his choice. After all, it's his body, and neither you nor I have the right to tell him what to do with it. He's free to choose, and it's none of our business what choices he makes. We have no right to impose our morals on him. Whether I like his choices or not is irrelevant. He should have the freedom to make his own choices."
When I see the shocked expressions, I ask what they're upset about. Aren't they prochoice? What's wrong with my logic? I ask them to show me the fallacy of the "it's his body and he can choose what he wants" argument. "But it's not just about the man's body. There's another body involved in a rape - the woman's!"
"Oh," I finally say. "I see. So, what you're saying is, it's not always right to be prochoice. It's wrong to be prochoice when the choice involved seriously hurts another person." They nod their agreement. I respond, "So what you're saying is, if I can show you that abortion hurts another person, in fact kills another person, you would no longer be prochoice about abortion. Is that right?"
I then go on to show them the compelling scientific proof that the great majority of abortions stop beating hearts and measurable brainwaves, and every abortion (including early chemical abortions) kills a genetically unique member of the human race. Of all the smoke and mirrors involved in prochoice rhetoric, perhaps the biggest and most important obstacle we can get around is the myth that it is inherently virtuous to be prochoice. Nothing could be further from the truth. Sometimes being prochoice is downright reprehensible.
All laws impose a moral viewpoint and restrict the individual's behavior. This is true of laws against drunk driving and child abuse. Laws against false advertising restrict a businessman's right to free speech. Laws against discrimination infringe on the freedom of choice of those who would treat minorities unfairly. When others' rights are at stake - and particularly when their very lives are at stake - any decent society can and must restrict the individual's freedom of choice.
The idea of "freedom to choose" is too vague for meaningful discussion. We must always ask, "Freedom to choose what?" It is absurd to defend a specific choice merely on the basis that it is a choice. Yet if you read the literature and listen to the talk shows, you know that this is constantly done by prochoice activists. "The right to choose" is a magic slogan that seems to make all choices equally legitimate.
All of us are in favor of free choice when it comes to where people live, what kind of car they drive, and a thousand matters of personal preference that harm no one else. We are also prochoice in matters of religion, politics, and lifestyle, even when people choose beliefs and behavior we don't agree with. But most of us - including those who always talk about a "woman's right to choose" - are decidedly not prochoice when it comes to murder, rape, kidnapping, armed robbery, and child abuse.
When we oppose the right to choose rape or child abuse, we aren't opposing a right; we're opposing a wrong. And we're not narrow-minded and bigoted for doing so. We're just decent people concerned for the rights of the innocent. To be prochoice about someone's right to kill is to be anti-choice about someone else's right to live. Whenever we hear the term prochoice, we must ask the all-important question, "What choice are we talking about?" Given the facts about abortion, the question really becomes, "Do you think people should have the right to choose to kill innocent children if it's more convenient for them or if that's what they want to do?"
People who are prochoice about abortion are decidedly anti-choice about other issues with less at stake. After I spoke at a public high school on the prolife position, the prochoice instructor took me to the faculty lounge for lunch. He pointed to a table where four teachers were smoking and said, "Fortunately, this is the last week smoking will be allowed in here. We've finally gotten the district to make the teachers' lounge nonsmoking." Good naturedly I said, "I see you're not really prochoice." With a surprised look he explained, "But cigarette smoke hurts other people." I said, "So does abortion."
Many people who are prochoice about abortion support laws requiring people to wear seat belts. They are anti-choice about seat belts because seat belts save lives. When lives are at stake, "freedom to choose" is legitimately restricted by society. Both smokers and nonsmokers have rights over their bodies. But we recognize that the smoker's right to smoke ends at the moment it violates the nonsmoker's right to be healthy. Nonsmokers should not be subject to unhealthy fumes without their consent. Children should not be subject to dismemberment and death without their consent.
The one-time choice of abortion robs someone else of a lifetime of choices and prevents him from ever exercising his rights. How to deal with a pregnancy is one among thousands of choices a woman will make in her lifetime. But if that choice is abortion, her child will never have the opportunity to make any choices of his own. A woman will have opportunity to exercise many legal rights. But if one of those is abortion, her child will never be able to exercise a single right. The unborn have been a glaring exception in the efforts of the modern human rights movement.
Everyone is prochoice when it comes to the choices prior to pregnancy and after birth. Men and women are free to choose to abstain from sex or to use birth control or to do neither. But when a woman is pregnant, the choice she has made has produced a new human being. After a woman is pregnant, it's too late to choose whether or not she wishes to become a mother. She already is a mother. The only choice involved now is whether to deliver a live baby or to kill the child before birth. Once the baby is born, the woman is again free to choose: she can keep the child or give him up for adoption. The only choice prolifers oppose is the choice that takes an innocent life.
Somehow the media and pro-abortion advocates have managed to take the attention off of abortion and put it on choice. This is why prolifers are routinely referred to as "anti-choice." Nearly all violations of human rights have been defended on the grounds of the right to choose. The slave-owners in this country a century and a half ago were prochoice. They said, "You don't have to own slaves if you don't want to, but don't tell us we can't choose to. It's our right." Those who wanted slaveholding to be illegal were accused of being anti-choice and anti-freedom, and of imposing their morality on others.
The civil rights movement, like the abolitionist movement one hundred years earlier, vehemently opposed the exercise of personal rights that much of society defended. It was solidly anti-choice when it came to racial discrimination. Whites historically had a free choice to own slaves, and later to have segregated lunch counters if they so chose. But the civil rights movement fought to take away that free choice from them. Likewise, the women's movement fought to take away an employer's free choice to discriminate against women.
Nearly every movement of oppression and exploitation - from slavery, to prostitution, to pornography, to drug dealing, to abortion - has labeled itself prochoice. Likewise, opposing movements offering compassion and deliverance have been labeled anti-choice by the exploiters. At least with prostitution, pornography, and drugs, the victim usually has some choice. In the case of abortion, the victim has no choice.
The prochoice position always overlooks the victim's right to choose. The women don't choose rape. The blacks didn't choose slavery. The Jews didn't choose the ovens. And the babies don't choose abortion.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Sweden?

Yes interesting fact of the day. My mothers fathers side, The Bankstons, originally came from SWEDEN. Pretty interesting stuff huh? They moved from there to Penn. To Arkansas, Mississippi, Tenn. and Texas. There are also records of names and signing agreements with some slaves they had, I hadn't seen it so I am kind of interested to see what is on there. Is there actually the word "slave" on there.

So now you got one side of the family from Spain and Sweden. The Swedes owned the slaves, and the other side of my family, The Lefort, from France, were the slaves. Crazy. How is that for coming around in full circle? I bet alot of peoples family is like that and they dont even know it. But its pretty cool to see your family go back to the 1700's on paper. We are still researching and by no means stuck. GO ADELL!

FYI matching specialist meeting Tuesday at 10 am. YAY!

Monday, June 23, 2008

Matching Specialist

WOW! Talk about getting things moving after approval. These guys don't waste no time. I got the email today from the matching specialist inviting me and Jeff back to Depelchin for an orientation meeting to go into detail what goes on from here. Since Jeff is out of town and not back until Friday it looks like unless they let me go by myself tomorrow which I don't want to without Jeff but an orientation meeting sounds kind of boring to me, we will have to go in Monday morning.

There's also a lifebook or family book we have to make too. This is like a small scrapbook type album that the comittee will look at each time we are selected or up for selection of a particular child. Other families might be looking at the same child so it helps them to decide which family looks best. Also to put a face to a file. So in other words I have to make some sorta awesome book here to stand out amongst the crowds. I have to call in reinforcements of scrap book Queens and extraordinar Beka and Lorie.

I will get more detail on that soon, hopefully and begin project family album.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Todays Shin Dig

The fire inspection was CRAZY!
The Fire Marshal was the most coolest woman I could have gotten to do our inspection though. Her name was Shannon. She drove to the house this morning at 7:30 am and was just kind of sitting in our driveway, mind you a 400 ft driveway for awhile, like 10 mintues. I was on the porch pacing back and forth waiting for her. I was thinking she was getting some paperwork together. Then she drove up a little bit and turned the car around and got out and was looking in the yard I then thought, "okay should I just walk up behind her so I can get shot? Maybe she is doing some sort of investigation of the yard." But she is standing there, going back and forth between my yard and Adell's. So I finally decided to go ahead and go out there. She sees me walking towards her and you can see the sigh of relief on her face. She said, "okay I was confused and didn't know which house was yours and was thinking you would come out and greet me but you didnt." I thought surely she could see me on the porch but I guess she couldn't. She said her cell phone didn't have any signal and I immediantly felt bad about living out in the woods with no sign of life. lol
I apologized a million times and she was laughing and saying that our address wasn't labeled good enough on our mail box, since that is one of the requirements on the fire inspection check list I knew it was scratch one for our inspection. I tried to reason with her that you can easily see 212 in big silver numbers on our mailbox post but she just denied it. She must have been a little nervous, ' being in the middle of nowhere', as she called it several times during her visit. And what can I say to argue, its true. City people can't handle the woods. So then she gets her papers and walks into the house and said its going to be painless and easy and she will go thru the list fairly quickly. First she makes sure the pugs aren't vicious attach dogs but I quietly let them escape outside the back door into the yard. She checks out the fire plan and LOVES it. Says it's enough fire plan for all her inspections. So that made me feel good. I spent like a whole day at work doing that fire plan. She checks the a/c inspection. She takes a look at my fire evac routes on the walls in the rooms. In each plan there is a stick person that says (you are here) depending on what room its in. She was laughing at me so hard and taking pics but said she is going to use it because she teaches a class and actually they were perfect examples of what they should look like and she is always telling people to put a (you are here) on the fire routes and they look at her like she is crazy. I figure she will go back to the Fire office and make fun of me, but oh well. But yay point for me! Then she checks out the flash lights and cords. She doesn't like our cords where our fish tank is and says we need to get a diff power cord with a short circuit thing and so I'm thinking, okay scratch two against us,. She then wanted to see the hot water heater. This proved to be a time wasting task because I had to drill off the panel it was behind. I didn't expect her to want to actually look at the darn thing and we had not even seen it since the house was put there. Well some cords weren't properly covered in there either, so scratch THREE for us! OMG I was stressing. And then off to the breaker box. Inside labels were good but breaker box on the outiside wasn't labeled. Damn Buck and Jeff. Scratch number FOUR. Then to top it all off our freaking fire extinguisher was EMPTY! I was thinking OMG this lady is about to fail us. I could not believe after all the talk about our fire extinguisher being moved from its original spot we placed it to the weight being heavy enough for harris county we had with the home study lady that the thing would be freaking empty by the time our fire inspection was here. But it said it bigger than day, "EMPTY". UGH!!! STUPID ME! Her exact words were, " This would be fine, (shaking it) If it wasn't empty."

But to my suprize and disbelief she said "I know how much you want your baby so I am not going to fail you. But what all do you need to fix?" I then splurted out all the things we went over like it was a quiz to get my approval for Depelchin and she said "OK lets go and try to print your approval. My computer hasn't been working but lets see if it does for us now."
OMG I was sooooooooooo nervous, happy and just releaved.
It took her like 15 more mintues to print out my certificate but I think she was determined not to do any follow up work. I was just praying it printed before she left and changed her mind. I just thanked her a million times before she left. I am so happy. It was like the worse inspection ever. Plus did I mention the ghoulie clan got out of the back yard and attached her nice Fire Marshal uniform with Pug paws. Yes that happened. While she was approving me out of the kindness of her heart Mocky and Willie decide to maul her with fresh dirt and mud. I had to give her a wet rag before she left to clean up the prints. Needless to say I still have a headache.

I called Jeff right after and told him the news. He is in Missouri and won't be back until Friday on some robot mission. He was pleased.

I then came to work and faxed it to Depelchin. We should be getting our matching specialist any day now.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

FIRE INSPECTOR TO THE RESCUE

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!~ I just hung up with a Harris County Fire Marshal. Up until 2 minutes ago I was thinking they were just a myth. lol

I totally made friends with the girl at the office and she was so nice and sweet and awesome and located a Marshal for me that can come out FRIDAY!!!!!! OMG OMG OMG OMG!

So she gave me her cell number and I called and she said she would come out Friday at like 7 in the morning! YAY! So I called Jeff who is at home right now packing! He is going to be leaving tomorrow morning for an eight day work trip! I am going to be so sad and lonely! :( I told him to do a couple more things around the house because we have been slacking keeping up lighters being in one spot and chainsaws on the porch. lol

BUT Fire Marshal lady Friday! YAY!

Do You Know A Fire Marshal?

It's only 9:17 am. Have I ever mentioned I am NOT a morning person? Well I am not. I once learned, while in Kingwood College going for my nursing degree, that each person has an internal clock. That Some people can wake up at so many hours past REM and be fine but if you go beyond that you will be dead ass tired. It's what makes some people night owls and some people early worms. Some peoples clocks are from 9 pm to 5 am and some are from 3 am to noon. lol I am more the 3 am to noon. And sometimes I can go to bed at a decent hour and wake up at 4 am to pee and be wide awake. This must be my internal clock hour. If I go back to bed and wake up at 7 I am crap for the rest of the day. Funny how that works. I hate waking up by an alarm. Nothing instantly pisses me off more. I am like, "How dare you tell me its time to wake up clock!" yes, I am a crazy morning person and never really wake up until around noon. So usually at work I don't get anything done until around that time. Unless its crunch time on something, I am always on top of my work. This is one thing I fail to mention during an interview. lol

But today I am on top of my own personal bussiness. ha ha
All that is left for us to complete is a Fire Inspection. An inspection we were told not to get until we were approved and now its holding us up. So irritated but hey, what am I going to do. It's not so much that I am irritated at DDC as much as I am with Harris County. I turned in our application and money last Wednesday on the 11th and called today to see whats the deal. And they are having computer problems and can't see any dates in the system so they don't even know when I turned it in or when someone is coming out. URG!!! But I managed to get a really nice girl on the phone and she is giving my cell number to the head fire inspector. He should call me soon and let me know what we should do about this system error. I was totally like Oh come on, it's the only thing when need! PLEAAAAAAAAAAAAASE. I need to be a mom before my head explodes! heh heh

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Amazing fact of the day

The Leforts, on my bio dad's side. Is only like 5 generations back to France, then from there we have tons of black ancestors, some of them French slaves.

And there's my fact of the day.

So technically I am black? lol

And my great grandpa Leforts death certificate says White or some kind of Hispanic! lol ha ha ha

So but seriously it does some White or Hispanic.

So there you go, I am french, black, Indian and Spainard. I guess it doesn't matter what type of kids we get, I'm pretty much covered.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Oh the things we learn

So this weekend was much fun. Friday I left work around noon and went home to finish packing for the Nachogdochas festivities. Jeff arived around 3 and we rode with his parents all the ways there. Tara and James met us at the hotel. That night we just ate and slept. Saturday we went to the festival like 2 blocks from the hotel. It was hot, humid but full of blueberry goodness. There were tons of little vendors and things to eat and free water, muffins and ice cream. There was a car show and a bus shuttle to take you to the blueberry farm where we ended up picking like 14lbs of blueberries. After that we went back to the hotel and left for the flea market like 2 miles up the road. It was neat and kind of small and trashy because I think some people were actually living there but it was still awesome non the less. Then we ate and went back to the hotel where we continued to drink until drunk and swim in the pool. Parents ordered pizza and we fell asleep. Sunday was just a drive back home where we stopped at a Farmers Market and I picked my dad up some pretty nice watermelons, both red and yellow, some honey with the comb still in and Jeff got like 6 lbs of blackberries. So we got home and I went to see my dad since it was Fathers Day. After that we watched Jumper and The Other Bolyn Girl which was actually pretty awesome.

And now your putting the yellow block on the red block. You play so well. I like it when your quiet. Your doing a great job. Because thats what my story telling is like.

On a crazier note.....I have recently discovered some amazing news regarding my family tree. So here's how this goes. I know I have always been told there is Indian in our family like back in the day my Mothers Father's Mother was born on a reservation yada yada. Well that's cool and all but not until recently during this whole adoption shin dig have we discovered there is a slight chance you can be placed with a Native American child but like almost 0% chance of adopting them ever because of the Native American band on whities and you have to have some sort of Indian Card to show your fill in the blank quantem of Indian blood. So I decided to check it out. You have to show proof to the Indian Council of your family history including birth and death records and marriage records. So I call my mom, she knows some info and tell me to call my Aunt Derisse, so I call her and she tells me that she had done some research and no one can find anything passed their dad's mom. Uh....hello, how crazy is that? She then continues to tell me that my great-grandma, whos name is Bettie, was born (maybe) on a reservation and then taken away and put into Foster care and was almost adopted by these people but the wife hated her and she had to go back to the orphanage. When she was old enough she married our great grandpa Travis Bankston and when going to file for her marriage or birth license, something like that all she put down about her parents were their names and her mothers married name, her maiden name is still unknown so now we can't find anything past that...so far. Well first off.....uh why did no one bother to tell me I had a great grandma in foster care? That would have been usefull to tell Depelchin during my 5 month interview. And second what a great family mystery! I am now on a mission, and although the whole thing to pursue the indian card has been dropped, maybe, we are now pursuing founding out where the hell we came from.
And Adell is this super Ancestory Family Tree Queen. She's been doing it for like 15 years and if there was ever one thing I can say that she conquers it is that. So she has this amazing family tree that dates back, no joke, to like 750 AD. I don't know how that works or how accurate it is once you get passed like the 1000 AD but there it is non the less. So she's always been like oh Heather we need to do your family tree and I have been like yea yea whatever so and so said they were doing it and I didn't want to bother with it because it sounds kind of boring. But now that I am older and just discovered we don't know anything about our family and apparantly no one has been able to find anything past our great great grandmother, here I am.

Amazing discovery # 2. My mom and her siblings are adopted. OMG! WTH? Yes I just found this out. While going thru some records online I was able to pull up her birth records for her and all her sisters and brother and it lists my grandma's name(which is actually my step grandma that married my grandpa when my mom was like 4 or 5 and my moms real mom died) so we knew about all that mess but did not know she actually full blown adopted them. So I called my mom and she was all oh yea FYI. So my discovery was already discovered but again I am kind of irritated that no one has mentioned to me MY MOTHER was adopted by her step mom. Hey we don't need to tell Heather, who's trying to adopt, all about our family adoption secrets, let's let her be in the dark, or just assume she knows all. Thanks guys!

Amazing discovery #3. So my moms birth mom, Jo Nell, who died when she was 23, no one has really much discovered anything regarding her family either, there was some family reunion a few years back my mom and sisters went to on some side of that family but nothing really about Jo Nell, well I have already found some things out online and am totally about to open that up as well. YAY!

With mine and Adells powers combined we are Family Tree history of all important family knowledge secret team!

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Sometimes

Sometimes I don't even want kids.
LOL J/K!

What is wrong with me today????????
I ate too many blueberry pies.

Blueberry Pie

Today Adell made two blueberry pies. She told me to come pick them up and make the office test them out and decide which pie is best for the contest this weekend at the Blueberry festival. The pies were labeled by one of the guys here at work, naturally pie A and pie B.
Well pie A won. Everyone in the office said so. I called Adell and told her and do you know what???? The only difference in the two was cinnamon. ha ha ha She added it in the crust. Everyone was like oh I don't do blueberries but I am gonna sit here and eat the whole dang thing. Phffffffff. Whatever.

Not much else after that. I am going to go home and pack for this weekend. Its going to be fun. Jeffs parents, Tara and James, me and Jeff are all going. Tried to talk my parents in to going but they were gonna be busy. Father's Day is Sunday. What are you gonna get your dad for Father's Day? hummmmm.....I don't know. Mom says t-shirts and underwear. Who gets their dad underwear for Father's Day. Oh me? Thats who. Here you go dad. Some whitey tidies.

So me and Mellisia decided to make a million dollars and create one of those book on tape type deals. Something for ladies who are waiting to adopt, could be for those who are pregnant but we are kind of partial to the infertiles. Its going to be basically us hanging around talking about baby's and kids.
" So I am adopting"
" Oh yea, me too"
"Oh really, well did you know I love babies"
"ME TOO"
"I can't wait"
"ME TOO"
"I saw this baby outfit and had to have it"
"OMG toooooooo cute!"
" Yea, that's what I thought too."
"I got some diapers too"
"What size"
"Baby size"
"Awesome. Did you get wipies. I got some."
"Oh yes, wipies are a must."
"Babies are so sweet."
"Yes they are"
"Um hum"
"Thats what I said"
"How many babies do you want?"
"Like 50! What about you?"
"I want babies til I die"
"Oh thats alot"
"Yea I know cause I am only like in my 20's"
"Do you want a boy or girl?"
"Whatever"
"Let me show you this other outfit I got"
"OMG I got the same one"
"Babies are FUN"
"Have you picked out names yet?"
"I have thought about it"
"Lets pick some out"
" I like the same Shawn"
"Oh yea thats cute"
"What about Kristen"
"Do you like these baby shoes"
"YES"
"I was looking on the internet for the best baby
strollers and saw this one"
"My sisters friends cousins uncles
neices had one of those"
"Oh did she like it"
"Yea she thought it was nice, it lasted thru like 3 kids"
"Wow I want 3 kids"
"3 babies"
"All at once"
"Wouldnt that be so hard"
"Yea but it would be totally fun because you could dress them up and
make them match"
"That would be fun"
"I know"
"I can't wait until some babies are in our house"
"Making baby noises"
"Babies are sweet"
"I love babies"
"Have you ever just sat around and looked at babies?"
"Sometimes, some babies are so ugly"
"I know"
" BAH HA HA HA HA"
"But they are still cute because they are just babies"
This tape could go on for HOURS. I would totally listen to it about right now. If anyone takes my idea I am sueing.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

So we are approved right?

Yes you are approved.

I just remembered ALL weekend, Monday and Tuesday I kept telling Jeff the same thing and he would ALWAYS reply the same way.

" I'm Nerrrrrvous." (really drawn out and whiny)
and then Jeff would say " Oh don't be nerrrrrrrrrrvous!" (With concern and patience)
It was funny because Tuesday morning we were brushing our teeth and I say again,
" I'm Nerrrrrrrvous"
and then he said " Oh don't be nerrrrrrrrrvous" except it sounded
all muffled because his toothbrush was in his mouth and
he was all " Owe- dun- e- ervousssss"
ha ha ha ha ha!
Just wanted to say I took an hour or two away from work today and dropped off the Fire Inspection application for the Fire Marshall to come out to the house and do his thang.
The man at the front counter said it will process in the next 5-7 bussiness days and a Marshall will contact me then to come out. Typical.
I hope its more like calling me first thing Monday morning ready to come out the next day!
Also I got lost on the way there. It's on Atascocita Road hidden down Ygnacio Road when Mapquest clearly states right off Atascocita Road between Ygnacio and Wilson. GRRR!
THEN I didn't have the exact amount and had to leave this 3 mile stretch of road called Ygancio and the speed limit was 20 MPH and there were cops everywhere and find a gas station to break a 20 only to crawl back and give him my money, for him to say 5-7 days. lol
It's cool though. I need to clean the house again.

And the Board Says

APPROVED!

I am not going to lie, and for those of you who are close to me already know, I was a nervous wreck. I didn't think I would be, but sometime around Monday I started getting anxious. I got a headach and new good and well, stress of board approval was at hand. We started this whole rollorcoaster to foster to adopt late December. It was around that time we imagined ourselves adopting. From there it grew into picking agencies, filling out applications, more than one, trying to decide what route to take. It was January 7th we went to an orientation at Depelchin and decided to go thru CPS to adopt. It was January 15th we sent off our application and have been charging on ever since. From approval after approval. Deeming ourselves worthy of parentdom. Class after class, form after form. Cleaning our house, conditioning our mind and attitude and finding out alot about ourselves in the process only to finally end up with our file in "The Boards" hands, yesterday, Tuesday, June 10th 2008 at 3:30 pm. Our home study worker Michelle, was our voice at the meeting. She presented us to the board and luckily they liked it. They liked us, they said "yes". They had their concerns and she addressed them. She had one more question and asked us. We are approved. I feel so relieved. I feel so thankful, I feel confirmation in our steps towards adoption. This is what we are supposed to do. This is where are are supposed to be. Approved to foster to adopt.

So since I am all about detail, here are yesterdays events.
I went to work, Jeff went to work. We waited. Michelle told us to call her Tuesday, but I had no idea when our meeting would be. So around noon, my heart pounding out of my chest, I called her, she is on speed dial...lol, I can prob remove it now. She picks up and laughs, it's not til 3:30! UGH! I am impatient and she knows it. She said it will last awhile and to call about 5:30. I feel bad, honestly, to bother her at all. I am sure she gets these calls from people going thru home study and approval, at least thats what I tell myself to excuse my actions. So I go back into work. I read blog after blog, peoples stories of adoption. It somehow makes me feel MORE anxious. Thinking surely we will be okay, but what if????? What if they say no? What are we going to do then? So then 5 rolls around and I get off work. Jeff is on his way home, from the Dr.'s office. Michelle calls around 5:10. This is Round about how the conversation went.
*****************
Her "Im calling from my home phone because
my cell phone is possesed"
(HA HA I love it, plus she knows good and well I saved her # to my phone)
Me " Ha ha, (nervous gitters wondering what the
outcome was)
"Silence"
Her " You there?"
Me "Oh yes..."
Her, "Ok, you are approved, BUT they
have one concern."
Me,"OK, but we are approved right?"
Her "Yes but they have a question"
Me "Um okay"
Her " They want to know, if you get a multi-racial or AA
baby, how will you address that?"
Me "To the baby?"
Her "Yes, like do you have
any AA friends they would be able to be around and
relate to?"
Me" Well Beka, who is one of our references,
(knowing she knows Beka as a reference
because she was talking last time
about how awesome our refrences are
and plus she looked up Beka's address
so I can put her down as an emergency
babysitter. FYI Beka. lol)
and her husbands sisters husband, (i know this
sounds funny) is AA and their baby
Chrissy is mulit-racial and they
live next door and so we know them"
(I know we see them far and in between but Geesh we live
in Huffman, there is not alot of AA's in Huffman)
And then I went on mummbling about all the AA people I had ever known and she laughed because I sounded rediculous. ha ha
Her "Well thats great, I will put that down,
correct some things in your study paper
and then your good to go. You don't have to worry about that because
its just we turning it back in. It happens alot
and is very common"
Me "So we are approved right?"
Her "Yes, you are approved, with flying colors"
Me" YAY"
Her "Yay"
Me "Thank you so much"
Her" No problem, the only concern I really addressed
would be the fact that your so young. I told the board
if they just read your file you would appear to be young
but you don't act young at all. So that is the only concern but
it's not really a concern at all. "
(Something else about her telling the board
" if they were 32 you wouldn't have a problem with
them at all if you saw the file."
The Board "So you saying if they were 32
you wouldn't have a problem with them?"
Her "I don't have a problem with them now.
I am just saying if you just read the file
you would only read that they were 25.
And to some people that looks too young
I am telling you, they are not"
Yay for awesome Michelle !!!)
Me "Thank you so much,
now... what about the fire inspection?"
Her "Oh yes, get that done."
Me "And what happens from here?"
Her "Your file will go to Emily (the home study recruiter)
who will assign it to a social worker and then your
social worker will contact you soon to come
by and do the matching process"
Me " So we are approved right?"
Her "Yes you are approved"
LOL J/K
Me " Thank you so much"
Her " Your welcome, you guys
are going to be great parents"
THE END
So that's about all I know so far. Today I am going to try and swing by the Fire Marshall's office and sign up for a Fire inspection. Yay us!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Depelchin's Adoption Creed

"Not flesh of my flesh
or bone of my bone
but still miraculously my own
never forget for a single minute
you were not born under my heart
but in it"