Stab me in the eye please

I am so tired. My eyes feel like they have 5 lb weights on them. They are dry and lazy. My fingers feel like greezy left over pop corn kettle butter and salt. My skin is warm, almost like I am catching something, maybe allergies, and I have this uncontrollable desire to cut my hair off. Not like crazy girl shaving it off but just something short and easy to brush and go to work. I on the other hand know better than to actually do this. I have thin frizzy hair. It will only poof and split if I cut it. Making me look even chunkier and mommier ultimately making me stab myself in the eye. I never understood why woman cut their long beautiful hair off when they get kids. Now I know. There is no time to even brush and put a clip in my hair when a 15 month old is screaming for you to hold her. Sometimes I wish she could just "use her words" and then sometimes I am glad she is not screaming "moooooommmmmmmy" cause my heart would break. I think my hair is either a.) perma fried from all the years as a young girl my Nanny permed my hair, adding to the pentecostal poof or b.) naturally wavy/curly and I have no idea about hair products so I brush it and it frizzes.
I once bought some frizz stuff, i used it once, i didn't like it. It made my hair wet and nasty looking. Like I hadn't taken a bath in 5 days. It really just made my scalp look like that. I don't get hair. I don't get it at all. Maybe I will shave it off. Maybe I will just go home tonight and chop that shit off.

Now that we are on the subject of hair, lets talk about the fact I grow more hair on my upper lip than I do in my armpits. What the hell is up with that? No let's not talk about hair anymore. I've said enough.

Adell is making meatloaf tonight. She wants to start cooking once a week so we can all eat together. A part of me wants to die a little and another part of me is glad I don't have to cook. I am the kind of person who sees their own mother once a week because if I did see her anymore than that we would fight....non stop. We just don't agree about alot of things and she is pretty opionated and well how should I put this....my mother in law is alot like my mother. Let's drop that for today. You know what I am saying. Too much of something is not good for the soul.

Brittany now says " You NO NO" and points her finger. Isn't it kind of early for me to be taking orders from her?

Work is a drag. As usual. I love my job, as jobs go, but quite frankly I would rather do 50 different things and can get bored easily. I will probably never be completely happy in anything as far as "work" goes, so I settle on something I won't kill myself with. The funeral home was the happiest days of my life and sadly the only life, which is exactly why I had to quit.

Jeff is back home. Thank God. I missed him so much. It was nice to come home yesterday and have him play with Brittany while I got some things done around the house. It was nice to hang out with him after she went to bed and it was nice to watch Brittany attach him with "Rawwws" and jumps. I love the man. He is finally back down to 2 cigs a day and I threatened him to an inch of his life to quit this weekend or else.

I want a pool.
Pools are fun.
Pools would give us something to do around the house.
A nice above ground pool wouldn't be that much money or upkeep.
I would settle for a nice above ground pool.
I would really really like a hot tub. But I burried a baby once who died on a hot tub. She was walking around the sides and fell and hit her head and drowned. She was 2. The parents were inside the house entertaining. It was sad.

My dad told me and my mom and my sister yesterday he was born with grapefruit balls when I asked what made Aiden's privates swell. My dad is a retard. It was pretty damn funny. My dad never talks like that. After he realized what just fell out of his mouth he covered his mouth with his hand and turned red and giggled. It was the best part of the day. He then went on to argue that babies are born that way and thats the size they stay. Yea right dad, you wish. Idiot.

Oh yea, Children's museum....Sunday....free tickets....must check times.