Change

Look at these two little monsters? Brittany actually pooped in the potty so she was rewarded with a blue sucker. It sure has helped to motivate her into using the potty. Typically she will pee in there but NEVER poop. Her social worker said she sees that with kids her age all the time. Its like pooping is the only thing she has control over and she takes advantage of it.

I have been working part time at work since Kade came. I work Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays now. So today is my off day and I am at home... BORED. How do stay at home mom's do it? I just can't stand to sit at home all the time. Like okay the first few weeks were cool and quite frankly I am so busy with Dr appointments and CPS appointments that I rarely do get a day off. But TODAY is my second day off doing nothing... I am getting ready for Brittany's birthday party on Saturday but I am use to being on the go go go and when its time to slow down my body is like what the fat? I shouldn't complain.... I am grateful that I get to take off... Lord knows I would rather be bored a couple of days a month then overworked. It seems like woman get the short end of the deal.... they are the caretakers, emotional and physical providers, they play a handful of different roles as a mother, wife, daughter, employee, and still try to gain some self identity in the process.. sometimes even losing that. Its a real juggle. And at the same time we wouldn't have it any other way... we wouldn't know HOW to have it any other way. Its in our DNA.

So I don't mean to knock stay at home moms... I guess you can say I am a part time stay at home mom... LOL but I guess I am at that point where I think to myself... who else am I but a mom? I know that sounds horrible but I think all mothers reach that point.. or not really a point per say as much as a conclusion. And think about it... me... HEATHER... who took 4 years to actually have kids. I prayed, paid and begged and worked my butt off and then when they came it was like OMG! I was soooo not prepared for this. Who is? You sit and think how life is gonna be with kids. How you are going to do your Martha Stewart duties and sew kids clothes and make kids crafts and yada yada and when you and your husband come home you will all get together and hug and love and be happy. And then reality sets in and your kids are NEVER happy. She screams just to scream, she throws food and anything she can get her hands on... she is two and angry.... she hits, bites, and throws tantrums. You just want to sleep and smoke. HA HA HA, and its not like that everyday... not at all. But some days... it is exactly like that. But its like anything else... when the good totally outweighs the bad, you don't think of the bad as much. You think about how rewarding kids are and how much of a priveledge it is to have kids and mold their minds and futures.

The other day I started to pray with Brittany before she went to bed. My parents never prayed with me. I probably still don't know how to pray. I was never taught. If there is a correct way to pray, I am pretty sure I am lost at it. So I set my mind up that since Brittany is starting to grasp things now it would be a good time to teach her about God and Jesus and prayer. She just kinda watches me and repeats Amen but its a good start and I think one day she will just start doing it on her own and initiate prayer without even thinking anything other then this is what we do before we go to sleep. When she gets older I will mold it into other times of the day and show her that prayer is not on a time schedule or is limited to a certain part of the day. But you know.. start slow. She is only two. I want to find a church... but then again I don't want to hunt for a church. I am so back and forth. I am waiting to hear something really good about a particular church from more then one person... a sign if you will. I guess.

We are also starting to feed Kade more and more baby food. He loves it.