In Search of the perfect...

DRESS! I am so angry I cannot find a simple freaking red dress. All I was is a red, not cherry, not maroon, not butt ugly lipstick red, just flat red in an a-line or some type of style that doesn't accent the fat roll around my stomach. Is that too much to ask? I found a great looking dress online, only available online at Target BUT not in my size. If only I were perhaps skinnier I could be cuter. LOL

SO now I guess I will be FORCED to go to the mall after work with Brittany in tow. She of course will be screaming she is hungry, Jeff will be angry for being around the breathing and I will be irritated and probably still not able to find a dress. Now if I were looking for a black dress, hey no problem. But for some reason my sister decided that the girls need to wear plane jane red in our family pic on Saturday. Yes in 3 more days Saturday. So at the time I simply thought, "It's freaking Christmas how hard can it be?" little did I know red is not the color of the season, it is black. pfffffft

Besides that our tree is put up, our presents are bought, puppies are sold and waiting to be picked up closer to Christmas. Social worker has already came this month and our clinician will visit next week but with toys in hand. Depelchin was sponsored this year in turn sponsoring Christmas gifts for Depelchin's children. Since Brittany's adoption has not been finalized yet she gets to have a "Wish List" and get 4 gifts of which I got the honor of picking out a month ago. You know something, me and Jeff were laughing about it the other day, we are so blessed to have certain benefits for Brittany. Like for example her daycare is free. Yes FREE. She gets things like sponsored presents AND she will get free collage, free dental and medical until she is 18 and allot of other support systems not all children have access to. In the bigger picture she is a very lucky little girl. I hate the fact that she has been thru more in her little life then most "adults" I know but hopefully with some direction she will overcome anything she puts her mind to. I don't mean to sound preachy or get side tracked here but the kids you see people adopt over seas or privately don't have access to these kinds of benefits that children adopted thru CPS have. I am so glad it was laid on our hearts to go the path we have because there is no telling where we would be if we had not. I am sure childless and broke.

Another thing I would like to touch base on, kids........kids are hard work!!! Some days I just want to sock Brittany in the eye and roll over and go back to sleep. Some days I just want to break her Elmo DVD and run down the street screaming. Some days I just want to hold her and kiss her and sing songs with her all day long. What is wrong with me? It's like I am being pushed to these opposite extremes...daily. It's so funny. I keep wanting to write about it but forget. It too will pass. Everything will change one day and I will forget about bi-polar toddler emotions.

What else? Oh yea I got a kitten last week. Yes another animal, shut up. She is a "red" but really orange persian kitty. I think I am going to name her Mogwai. She is soooo freaking cute. She is a big ball of fur. Brittany tries to pull her by the tail and head constantly but she is pretty chill about it and takes the abuse. I alway stop her immediantly but I think Brittany is learning to be sneaky and has the notion she can "do what she wants" and does it anyways. She looks around to see if I am looking and does it. It makes me sooooo mad!!! Poor kitty.

So anyways work is almost over...gotta get ready to head to the mall. Gay.